You can bend it and twist it. You can misuse and abuse it. But even God cannot change the Truth. It is never too late to bring about lasting change for your life. Livingston’s life and the circumstances regarding how he lost his two sons within a thirteen month period, I have been moved by his commitment to preserve hope in a world capable of inflicting such great tragedy. His ability and strength to move forward in spite of the obstacles is inspirational. If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, the map is wrong. We are given mental maps as children. Now as adults, when we find the maps we have relied on for so long can get us lost, we need to recalibrate and create more reliable guides based on what we now know to be true and where we want to go. We are not what we think, or what we feel, or what we say, we are what we do.
Actions do indeed speak louder than words. If you are unhappy with a particular part of your life, take a strong look at what you are doing to be happier. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place. By nature, we are emotional creatures. Often we live and react based on feelings, not logic. Feelings are wonderful, but when we become tied to a particular thought or belief we tend to ignore the fact that change might be necessary. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. For some, childhood was pleasant, almost idyllic.
But for others, when there has been serious physical, sexual or emotional abuse it is important to recognize this and process this with a trained professional. No matter your past, change is the essence of life. In order to move forward in life we need to learn to live in the present. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. When relationships end it is typically because of unmet expectations or one person is not feeling love or cherished by the other. No matter how hard we try, we don’t control what we think or what we feel. But, we do know which actions bring us happiness, pleasure and confidence. So, we do the actions that make us feel good.
It is the action, the behavior that comes first. Take the next few days to notice how you feel after doing a particular behavior. If you like the feeling, do more of it. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. The perfect is the enemy of the good. While it’s important to have control over our lives, it can be counterproductive to attempt to control our lives. The energy spent trying to be perfect can keep us from enjoying and appreciating all the good things that exist right before us. The trick is knowing which one to ask.
Understanding why we do certain things is the first step to change. Until we understand what motivates us, what we get from doing a particular behavior, there is no momentum to begin the change process. Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses. While this strength helps me to build and maintain healthy relationships, it can also make me too reactive and less effective when dealing with conflict. The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves. What is your fear of change costing you? Too often what keeps us stuck is the belief we can’t move forward. Our head-trash tells us we are not worthy to have our heart’s desire. Remember this: Before you can do anything, you must be able to imagine it.