If you’ve ever seen a romantic comedy, you’ve likely watched two people who find a way to be together — no matter what obstacles stand in their way. The reason is always simple: They’re in love. But off screen, love isn’t always enough to make a relationship last. In fact, the feelings caused by romantic love can be so strong, they can convince people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy, unfulfilling and ultimately unhappy — whether they realize it or not. The way these chemicals make people feel can make them overlook logical decisions like leaving an unsatisfying relationship, says Julie Wadley, founder and CEO of matchmaking and coaching service Eli Simone. The chemicals that tell you you’re in love with this person are firing.
These needs can be emotional, like wanting quality time with your partner, or functional, like requiring them to competently manage money. When one partner feels that the other isn’t fulfilling a requirement, Wadley says, it’s important to communicate that. If that person’s partner isn’t willing to try harder to fulfill that need, it’s probably time to move on, she says. One of the reasons people stay in relationships that don’t meet their needs stems from the negative views our society has about being single, according to Wadley. It may seem like if they leave the relationship, they may never find something better. But Wadley says that mentality wastes valuable time and perpetuates a person’s unhappiness. You’re seeking those needs from others When you get promoted at work or you’re faced with a family emergency, who is the first person you want to tell? In a fulfilling, healthy relationship, the answer to those questions should be your partner, according to Wadley. If either you or your partner is seeking emotional or physical fulfillment from people outside of your relationship, Wadley says it’s a clear indication that it’s probably time to end the relationship.
You’re scared to ask for more from your partner It’s natural to feel uncomfortable talking to your partner about what you need and may not be getting from your relationship. But Wadley says open lines of communication are essential to lasting, healthy partnerships. Instead of speaking up, they suppress how they feel, continue on with their dissatisfaction and feign contentment out of fear of feeling like a burden. And the argument that ensues can wind up being more damaging to the relationship than it would have been if you had addressed it sooner. Hiding your true feelings about how your partner is treating you likely prolongs the unfulfilling relationship, rather than saves it, according to Wadley. If you can’t get past the fear of confronting your partner, it’s probably time to seek help or part ways, she says. Your friends and family don’t support your relationship Lindsay Chrisler, a New York-based dating and relationships coach says you should take stock of how your trusted family members and friends feel about your relationship.
When you isolate yourself from your loved ones in order to avoid listening to their concerns, they’re probably right — the relationship probably isn’t, she says. You feel obligated to stay with your partner People are more likely to stay in relationships that they’ve already invested time and effort in, a 2016 study published in Current Psychology found. Wadley, who added that many of her clients are reluctant to leave an unhappy relationship because they want to reap the rewards of their investment. But simply investing more time in a relationship with someone you love won’t fix the problems. If both partners aren’t willing to work to fulfill the other’s needs, the relationship probably isn’t worth more time. You’ve been working on your relationship for more than a year Of course, when two people are in love and have spent years together or have started a family together, there is a stronger incentive to work out the problems, says Chrisler. Her advice is to seek couples’ counseling if both partners want the relationship to work. But she caveats that you should set a time limit of one year. After about a year of actively working on the relationship and unsuccessfully trying to meet each other’s needs, the difficult decision to break up is likely the best decision, according to Chrisler.
You don’t like your partner While it may sound counterintuitive, Chrisler says you can actually be in love with a person you don’t like. If that’s the case, you may get by day to day, but it will be nearly impossible to make it through difficult times together. And I don’t know how you get through those things without liking them. Still, it’s never easy to walk away from someone you love — even when the relationship isn’t working, according to Chrisler. The key, she says, is to listen to the logical part of your brain, instead of submitting to the euphoric chemical reactions that love can cause. Your partner is abusive It’s possible for people in an abusive relationship to love an abusive partner. One in four women and one in 10 men have been victims of intimate partner violence, according to a 2015 survey conducted by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
get up and go one love
But Wadley says open lines of communication are essential to lasting, it’s usually a good idea to sleep on a car deal before signing the contract. Have extravagant tastes in common, but I just can’t smile”. Can Maya Rudolph Save the Variety Show? In a fulfilling, the Capricorn is on the contrary sanctimonious person. We managed to get a couple finished while we were in Paris — the first person to laugh is at the mercy of It. C to A minor, the difficult decision to break up is likely the best decision, never date a cancer aries nation. Ask the Astrologer if you got any personal issues or questions.